As salam 'alaikum wa rahmat Allahi wa barakatuh.Bismillahi Rahmanir RaheemAlthough we are all born Muslims, I was raised Catholic, and later I formally converted to Buddhism before Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in His Infinate Mercy and Love offered the Truth to me.As a child I went to Catholic School, and by the time I was a teenager I had found things about Catholic Christianity that did not make sense to me. I used to ask questions like "if God is omnipotent, why must He come to earth in the person of Jesus, and then sacrifice Himself so that our sins can be forgiven? Wouldn't it make more sense for God to forigve the sins of those who cry out to Him in sincere regret and sorrow for their sins?" That question in particular I asked to a well-known priest who told me it was a "Holy Mystery" and that "there are some things you must accept without question, otherwise you don't have faith."
I also asked, again concerning the omnopotence of God, why He should divide Himself (as in the Trinity) in order for believers to better connect with Him? Or why we had to drink wine representing the supposed blood of Christ and eat wafers representing the body of Christ in order to "keep our souls full of the Holy Spirit?" It just made no sense at all, especially when priests would be confirming that God is indeed omnipotent and then at the same time would introduce such silly dogmas and contradictions like the need for Christ to "die on the cross" for us to be "saved."Eventually I just got sick of trying to find the answers to these questions and decided there must be some serious flaws in the doctrines of Christianity and I should remove myself from it.
By this time I had begun to develop some of my own beliefs based on what I considered to be logic and just "what makes sense." Due to already having an interest in things East Asian, I ended up learning about Buddhism, which seemed great to me (except for the fact that Buddhists are either atheistic or they deify the Buddha). I kept to myself the belief in the God of Christianity without accepting anything else of Christianity and decided to take on Buddhism as my religion.After two years of practicing Buddhism, I had learned that in order for me to call myself "a true Buddhist" I would have to stop believing in God and either accept that there is no god or that Buddha himself was a god (even though I had read direct quotes from him saying that he refused to be deified and had even objected to people making images of him, saying always that he was only a man, and had no more power than any other human).
As I began to see the flaws in Buddhism, I first looked into other schools of Buddhism, and then decided the doctrine of Buddhism is itself, like Christianity, flawed.Although I tried, I could not accept atheism because it just made sense to me that there must be a Creator for everything that exists. Everything in the world (in nature as they say) just seems to work so well and be so precise. It made no sense to me that it was all just chance or coincidence. I had to find something that, like Buddhism, promoted equality of all people, wisdom over war, real peace among humanity and nature, and yet was centred around the same God Who I refused to believe did not exist.I took another look at Christianity, this time not to practice, but to study. I saw that there were some truths within the religion, and that some of it made sense. However I concluded that Jesus could not have been more than a man, and my study of the Bible only confirmed this, since he never said he was more than "a servant of the Chrildren of Isreal" or "the Son of Man." The idea that he had to be God because he was called the son of God was also refuted since God had called other people His "son" at various times throughout the Bible, and I concluded we are all "children of God" and thus Jesus must be no more "the same substance as God" as any other human.I began praying to God to show me the Truth, and promised I would accept it no matter what it was called or what I had to do. I knew that if God would send me the Truth, I would never have to do anything I already believed was wrong, and so there was no fear or anxiety in making such a promise.Mere days after my prayer I went to a Multicultural Festival in Halifax, Nova Scotia, since I had for years been interested in other cultures. I found myself standing in front of a booth called "Islam: The Religion of True Peace."That evening, I took a look at the many papers I had been given at the Islamic Booth. Everything I was reading seemed to make sense.
Everything I found to be truthful about Christianity seemed to be present in Islam as well as everything I found to be true within Buddhism, but from what I was reading, Islam did not seem to have any of the things I found did not make sense within Christianity or Buddhism. By now I had become a bit cynical, because I found many things look great on paper but once you experience it for yourself you tend to find things that "papers" neglect or gloss over. So I write to the webmaster of one of the many websites on the papers I had. Within 30 minutes of my writing, the webmaster called me and suggested I come to the Masjid for a visit. I agreed and the next day, I stood by my front door waiting for the brother who was coming to pick me up and take me there. As I waited I made another prayer.
I asked God if this (Islam) is the Truth, then let it be clear to me, so that I may accept it.Minutes later I saw a small white car pull up in front of my building; inside a thick bearded man with a warm smile waited. I got into the car and met the man who I would soon learn was the Imam of the Masjid to which I was going.Once inside the Masjid, I was greeted with more smiles and even warmer hugs by at least half a dozen guys I had never met before. The Imam must have taken it upon himself to let some brothers know I was coming and they had prepared snacks and drinks and the welcome I received almost brought me to tears (and I was not one to be moved to tears easily).
We sat on the floor in somewhat of a circle and each brother introduced himself to me, after which the Imam, always one to get right to the point as I'd learn later, asked me directly: "Putting aside religious labels and doctrines, what do you, in your heart, believe?" I told him that I believe in God, first and foremost, that God is the Creator of everything, and that I refuse to accept that Jesus, or anyone else, could be God or partnered with God. I said that I respect Jesus as a teacher and certainly a servant of God, but I could not accept the Christian claim of his divinity. I told him that I want to worship God differently than what I had seen earlier in my life, and I am looking for the Truth, so that I may accept it and finally be at peace in my religious quest.I was then lead into a much larger room where a brother was calling out what I would soon learn was the Adhan. As he called I felt like something was piercing my heart (though not painful). Shortly after I saw everyone gather into rows while that same brother made a similar call (the Iqama). They began to offer Dhuhr as I looked on.
I felt myself close my eyes and almost soak in the whole atmosphere around me, which felt to magical, intense, and yet so peaceful and tranquil.When the Salah was finished, and the Imam had finished his Sunnah, I approached him and all I could get out was "ok." Almost as if he knew what was in my heart, he lead me to the front entrance of the Masjid where a group of brothers were standing, smiling. A large, jolly-looking brother laid his arm upon my shoulder and then took my right hand with his right hand. He then said in a heavy accent "Repeat after me. I will say slowly, and you say after I say, ok?"
I nodded and he began: "Ash hadu anla ilaha illa Allah. Ash hadu anna Muhammadar Rasulullah. I declare that there is no god except God. I declare that Muhammad is the Messenger of God." With my heart pounding, I pronounced each word as it was pronounced before me. As a wave of emotion took over me, everyone around cheered "Allahu akbar!"I then took part in my first meal as a Muslim, sitting among my newfound brothers and eating of the same food as they, sharing the same plate.
Next I was directed towards a room with a large tub. I was given a towel and explained that I was about to immerse my entire body in water, which was ghusl and would be the final step in assuring I was in a state of purity, and ready to begin my first lessons in living as a Muslim. I spent the rest of the day in that Masjid, and came home after Maghrib. My room-mate was absolutely shocked when I walked in and told him "hey! I'm a Muslim." Alhamdulillahir Rabbil 'alameen. May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala forgive any error I have made in this post as I have told my story to the best of my memory and thus may have forgot or confused some of the facts. If my story has brought any level of inspiration to anyone, then all praise is due to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, and I take as my own any mistakes.I ask Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala to strengthen me as I continue to learn, and forgive me when I am weak. I ask Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala to strengthen and unite the Ummah and help us to bring True Peace to our fragile world. Ameen.Wa salam.
Brother Khalid
